its drawing closer, and my nerves grow ever restless as each day flies past. ive half packed, the other items i cannot bare to touch for fear that when i do, i'll become overwhelmed and change my mind. ive lived in this town for the past 18 years... what if the city is not the magical place ive always invisioned after all? things will be far to advanced for me to turn around and crawl back to my shelter. the only solution left for me is to dive in with both feet.
hopefully too, i land hard enough on the shy little shell of self preservation that ive worn for so long that it will shatter and release me from my anxiety. i think i will be far more comfortable if i can let myself relate to people, let them see who i am, rather than who i think they would like to see. the mask is far too hard to maintain, and i shant enjoy myself if it remains, far less survive the competitiveness of the big smoke. from now on, this shall be my resolution. no more pretences, the people and experiences theyre built for arent worth it.
hopefully too, i land hard enough on the shy little shell of self preservation that ive worn for so long that it will shatter and release me from my anxiety. i think i will be far more comfortable if i can let myself relate to people, let them see who i am, rather than who i think they would like to see. the mask is far too hard to maintain, and i shant enjoy myself if it remains, far less survive the competitiveness of the big smoke. from now on, this shall be my resolution. no more pretences, the people and experiences theyre built for arent worth it.
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