well mum knows everything. the sex, the drugs, the smoking the persistant anorexic thoughts, the bullying, the drinking, the tattoo, the bisexuality?, the paraletic partying, the vulgarity. and ive no one to blame but myself. i am so ashamed, i am a disgusting person
ive been picking my fingertips off, it hurts to touch things. it serves me right, everything i touch, i break. its nice to feel something other than depressed though. i slept two hours last night because of it. i stared at my ceiling mostly. if i was religious i would have prayed for death, however, im not so i have no hope unless i do it myself. and im too pathetic a creature, to inconsistent, to do it myself. perhaps this is my single selfless act?
perhaps it is my most selfish.
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